More Wild Customers at the Bar

The Texan

A Texan buys a round of drinks for all the folks in a bar after announcing that his wife just birthed a "typical" Texas Baby Boy weighing in at 25 pounds.
Congratulations are showered upon him from all around. Exclamations of "WOW!" fill the air. A woman faints nearby from sympathy pains. Two weeks later, the Texan returns to the same bar. The bartender asks, "Hey, aren't you the father of the "typical" Texas Baby Boy that weighed 25 pounds at birth?"
"Yep, that's me!" replies the Texan.
"Well, how much does he weigh now?"
"Seventeen pounds," answers the proud father.
"Seventeen pounds? What happened? He weighed 25 pounds at birth!" said the puzzled bartender.
The Texas father takes a slow swig from his Lone Star beer, wipes his mouth on his shirt sleeve, leans into the bartender with his best southern accent and deep voice says, "Had him circumcised."

Gimme Twelve Drinks

them back really fast, one after another. The bartender says to the guy, "Boy you are drinking those drinks really fast." 
The guys says, "Well, you would be drinking really fast too if you had what I've got." 
The bartender says, "What've you got?"
The guy says, "75 cents."

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THE STUMBLER

A guy stumbles through the front door of a bar, completely drunk. He walks up to the bartender and asks for a drink. The bartender kindly tells the guy he can't give him a drink because he is already drunk. Angry, the guy stumbles back out the front door. 
About five minutes later, the guy stumbles through the side door of the bar. He asks the bartender for a drink and once again the bartender says, "No, you’re already drunk." The guy stumbles back through the side door. 
A few minutes later the guy stumbles through the bar’s back door. The guy walks up to the bar, looks at the bartender for a moment then says, "Damn, how many bars do you work at, anyway?"

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A Drunk's Logic

There's this drunk standing out on the street corner, and a cop passes by, and says, "What do you think you're doing?" 
The drunk says, "I heard the world goes around every 24 hours, and I'm waiting on my house. Won't be long now, there goes my neighbor."

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