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THE PORCH
A blonde, wanting
to earn some
money, decided to hire herself out
as a handyman-type person and
started canvassing a well-to-do
neighborhood. She went to the front
door of the first house and asked
the owner if he had any jobs for her
to do.
"Well, you can paint my
porch. How much will you
charge?"
The blonde replied, "How about
50 dollars?"
The man agreed and told her that the
paint and other materials that she
might need were in the garage.
The man's wife, inside the house,
heard the conversation and asked her
husband, "Does she realize that
the porch goes all the way around
the house?"
The husband answered, "She
should, she was standing on
it." A short time later the
blonde came to the door to collect
money.
"You're finished
already?" he asked
" Yes," the blonde
answered, "and I had paint left
over, so I gave it two coats."
Impressed, the man reached in his
pocket for the $50.
"And by the way," the
blonde added, "it's not a
Porch, it's a Lexus."
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Caught in the Act
Three girls all worked in the
same office with the same female boss. Each day,
they noticed the boss left work early. One day,
the girls decided that, when the boss left, they
would leave right behind her. After all, she
never called or came back to work, so how would
she know they went home early? little gardening,
spent playtime with her son, and went to bed
early. The redhead was elated to be able to get
in a quick workout at the spa before meeting a
dinner date. The blonde was happy to get home
early and surprise her husband, but when she got
to her bedroom, she heard a muffled noise from
inside. Slowly and quietly, she cracked open the
door and was mortified to see her husband in bed
with her boss!
Gently she closed the door and crept out of her
house. The next day, at their coffee break, the
brunette and redhead planned to leave early
again, and they asked the blonde if she was
going to go with them.
"No way," the blonde exclaimed.
"I almost got caught yesterday!"
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The Job Interview
A blonde goes for a job
interview in an office. The interviewer starts
with the basics. "So, Miss, can you tell us
your age, please?"
The blonde counts carefully on her fingers for
half a minute before
replying. "Um ... 22."
The interviewer tries another straightforward
one to break the ice.
"And can you tell us your height,
please?"
The young lady stands up and produces a
measuring tape from her handbag. She then traps
one end under her foot and extends the tape to
the top of her head. She checks the measurement
and announces, "Five foot two!"
This isn't looking good so the interviewer goes
for the real basics;
something the she won't have to count, measure,
or lookup. "Just to confirm for our
records, your name please?"
The blonde bobs her head from side to side for
about fifteen seconds,
mouthing something silently to herself, before
replying, "Jenny!"
The interviewer is completely baffled at this
stage, so he asks, "What were you doing
when I asked you your name?"
"Oh, that!" replies the blonde,"
I was just running through that song, 'happy
birthday to you, happy birthday to you, happy
birthday
dear...
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LANDSCAPERS
A painting contractor was
speaking with a woman about her job. In the
first room she said she would like a pale blue.
The contractor wrote this down and went to the
window, opened it, and yelled out "GREEN
SIDE UP!"
In the second room she told the painter she
would like it painted in a soft yellow. He wrote
this on his pad, walked to the window, opened
it, and yelled "GREEN SIDE UP!"
The lady was somewhat curious but she said
nothing. In the third room she said she would
like it painted a warm rose color.
The painter wrote this down, walked to the
window, opened it and yelled "GREEN SIDE
UP!"
The lady then asked him, "Why do you keep
yelling 'green side up'?"
"I'm sorry," came the reply. "But
I have a crew of blondes laying sod across the
street.
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