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Blondes Norwood Mass
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"My luck is so bad that , I couldn't hit the floor
if I fell ."
- Larry
Blonde Got Game
A blonde and a lawyer are seated next to each other on a flight from LA to NY.
The lawyer asks if she would like to play a fun game?
The blonde, tired, just wants to take a nap, politely declines and rolls over to the window to catch a few winks.
The lawyer persists and explains that the game is easy and a lot of fun.
He explains, "I ask you a question, and if you don't know the answer, you pay me $5.00, and vise versa."
Again, she declines and tries to get some sleep.
The lawyer, now agitated, says, "Okay, if you don't know the answer you pay me $5.00,
and if I don't know the answer, I will pay you $500.00."
This catches the blonde's attention and, figuring there will be no end to
this torment unless she plays, agrees to the game.
The lawyer asks the first question. "What's the distance from the earth to the moon?"
The blonde doesn't say a word, reaches into her purse, pulls out a $5.00 bill and hands it to the lawyer. "Okay, " says the lawyer, "your turn".
She asks the lawyer, "What goes up a hill with three legs and comes down with four legs?"
The lawyer, puzzled, takes out his laptop computer and searches all his references, no answer.
He taps into the air phone with his modem and searches the net and the library of congress, no answer.
Frustrated, he sends e-mail to all his friends and coworkers, to no avail.
After an hour, he wakes the blonde, and hands her $500.00.
The blonde says, "Thank you, " and turns back to get some more sleep.
Question:
Why did the blonde keep taking off and putting the Pepsi bottle cap back on?
Answer:
Because it said, "Sorry, try again."
The Lottery
A blonde
woman named Cindy found herself in dire
trouble. Her business had gone bust and she
was in serious financial trouble. She was
so desperate that she decided to ask God
for help. She began to pray.
"God, please help me. I've lost my
business and if I don't get some money, I'm
going to lose my house as well. Please let
me win the lotto."
Lotto night came and somebody else won.
Cindy again prayed. "God, please let
me win the lotto! I've lost my business, my
house, and I'm going to lose my car as
well."
Lotto night came and Cindy still had no
luck. Once again she prayed. "My God,
why have you forsaken me? I've lost my
business, my house, and my car. My children
are starving. I don't often ask you for
help and I have always been a good servant
to you. PLEASE just let me win the
lotto this one time so I can get my life
back in order."
Suddenly there was a blinding flash of
light as the heavens opened, and Cindy was
confronted by the voice of God Himself.
"Cindy, meet Me halfway on this. Buy a
ticket."
GAMBLER
A man walks up behind a blond at a soda
machine. She puts in fifty cents, gets a
pop...puts in fifty cents, gets a
pop....puts fifty cents, gets a pop and so
on for about 5 minutes.
The man politely taps the woman on the
shoulder and asks if he can just step in a
get one drink if she's going to be very
much longer.
The blond looks at him and says "Are
you crazy?! I'm WINNING!!!"
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