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Massachusetts State Police
Organization? Us? You're
joking, right?
The Massachusetts State Police are missing the
point. A friend of mine went down to One
Ashburton Place to collect his pistol, which he
left with the Massachusetts State Police at the
gun-check. He was only allowed to obtain access
to his firearm after he passed through the full
security screening and check with the metal
detector.
State Trooper
There was a middle aged guy who
bought a brand new Mercedes convertible SLK. He
took off down the road, flooring it up to 80 mph
and enjoying the wind blowing through what
little hair he had left on his head. "This
is great," he thought and floored it some
more. Then he looked in his rearview mirror and
there was a highway patrol Trooper behind him,
blue lights flashing and siren blaring. "I can get away
from him with no problem" thought the man
and he floored it some more and flew down the
road at over 100 mph. Then he thought,
"What am I doing? I'm too old for this kind
of thing" and pulled over to the side of
the road and waited for the state trooper to
catch up with him.
The trooper pulled in behind the Mercedes and
walked up to the man. "Sir," he said,
looking at his watch. "My shift ends in 30
minutes and today is Friday the 13th. If you can
give me a reason why you were speeding that I've
never heard before, I'll let you go."
The man looked back at the trooper and said,
"Last week my wife ran off with a state
trooper and I thought you were bringing her
back.
"The state trooper replied, "Have a
nice day".
Weaving Driver
A police officer pulls over
this guy who's been weaving in and out of the
lanes. He goes up to the guy's window and says,
"Sir, I need you to blow into this
breathalyzer tube."
The man says, "Sorry, officer, I can't do
that. I am an asthmatic. If I do that, I'll have
a really bad asthma attack."
"Okay, fine. I need you to come down to the
station to give a blood sample."
"I can't do that either. I am a
hemophiliac. If I do that, I'll bleed to
death."
"Well, then, we need a urine sample."
"I'm sorry, officer, I can't do that
either. I am also a diabetic. If I do that, I'll
get really low blood sugar."
"All right, then I need you to come out
here and walk this white line."
"I can't do that, officer."
"Why not?"
"Because I'm drunk."
Ticket Violation
A young woman was pulled over
for speeding. As the motorcycle officer walked
to her car window, flipping open his ticket
book, she said, "I bet you are going to
sell me a ticket to the Highway Patrolmen's
Ball."
He replied, "Highway patrolmen don't have
balls."
There was a moment of silence while she smiled,
and he realized what he'd just said.
He then closed his book, got back on his
motorcycle and left.