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"Blessed are the young, for they shall inherit the National Debt." - Herbert Hoover What a CompanyCan you imagine working for a company that has a little more than 500 employees and has
the following statistics: |
Blondes
 
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"We have a new Secretary of the Interior, his name is Dirk Kempthorne. He's pro industry and pro oil. Today he opened Mount Rushmore for oil drilling in Lincoln's nose."
--Dave Letterman
"In a time of universal deceit, telling the truth is a revolutionary act."
-- George Orwell
"They keep talking about drafting a Constitution for Iraq. Why don't we just give them ours? It was written by a lot of really smart guys, it's worked for over 200 years, and hell,
we're not using it anymore."
---I don't know who said this
"The government is getting ready for a bird flu pandemic. The best thing you can do is sterilize your pans."
--Dave Letterman
A lot of folks can't understand how we came to have an oil shortage here in our country. Well, there's a very simple answer. Nobody bothered to check the oil. We just didn't know we were getting low.
The reason for that is purely geographical. Our oil is located in Alaska, California, Oklahoma and Texas.
Our dipsticks are located in Washington D.C.
A Billion Dollars
A billion is a difficult number to comprehend,
but one advertising agency did a good job of putting that figure into perspective in one of its releases:
A billion seconds ago it was 1959.
A billion minutes ago Jesus was alive
A billion hours ago our ancestors were living in the Stone Age.
A billion dollars ago was only 8 hours and 20 minutes, at the rate Washington spends it.
"I had a horrible nightmare last night. I dreamed it was
'Take Your Daughter to Work Day' at Homeland Security."
--Jay Leno
WELFARE
A young man walked into the local welfare office, marched straight
up to the counter and said, "hi, I hate drawing welfare. I would really
rather find a job"
The man behind the counter replied, "Your timing is amazing. We just got a
listing from a very wealthy man who wants a chauffeur/bodyguard for his
nymphomaniac daughter. You'll have to drive around a big black Mercedes,
the suits, shirts, and ties are provided.
Because of the long hours of this job, meals will also be provided and you
will also be required to escort the young lady on her overseas holidays
trips. The salary package is $200,000 a year."3
The man said, "You're bullshitting me man!"
The man behind the counter said, "Well, you started it!"
A toy company can out-source to a Chinese sub-contractor and claim it's a free market.
A major bank can incorporate in Bermuda to avoid taxes and claim it's a free market.
BUT, heaven help the elderly who dare to buy their prescription drugs from a Canadian pharmacy.
Only in America!
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