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The difference between genius and stupidity is: genius has its limits. *** Albert Einstein
Three Crazies
Three insane men
walk out of a mental hospital hoping to escape.
The first says, "If there's a high fence, we'll
dig under it!"
The second says, "If there's a low fence, we'll
jump over it!"
The third says, "Well, we're out of luck,
boys--There is no fence,"
So instead they just went back to their rooms.
"I believe blind people can fall in love, too, so I don't
believe in love at first sight."
---Ashton Kutcher
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Yup It's Them!
Not the sharpest knife in the drawer.
A few clowns short of a circus.
A few fries short of a Happy Meal
A few Cokes short of a six-pack.
A few peas short of a casserole.
Doesn't have all his corn-flakes in one box.
The wheel's spinning, but the hamster's dead.
One Fruit Loop shy of a full bowl.
One taco short of a combination plate.
A few feathers short of a whole duck.
All foam, no beer.
The cheese slid off his cracker.
Couldn't pour water out of a boot with instructions on the heel.
He fell out of the stupid tree and hit every branch on
the way down.
An intellect rivaled only by garden tools.
As smart as bait.
Chimney's clogged.
Doesn't have all his dogs on one leash.
Forgot to pay his brain bill.
Her sewing machine's out of thread.
His belt doesn't go through all the loops.
No grain in the silo.
Proof that evolution CAN go in reverse.
In the pinball game of life, his flippers were a little
further apart than mo
Out Smarted
There were 11 people hanging on to a single rope that suspended them from a helicopter trying to bring them to safety. Ten were men; one was a woman.
They all decided that one person would have to let go because if they didn't, the rope would break and all of them would die.
No one could decide who it should be. Finally the woman gave a really touching speech, saying how she would give up her life to save the others, because women were used to giving things up for their husbands and children and giving in to men.
All of the men started clapping.
Mr. Gable had a leak in the roof over his dining room, so he
called a repairman to take a look at it.
"When did you first
notice the leak?" the repairman inquired.
Mr. Gable scowled. "Last night, when it took me two hours to
finish my soup!"
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