Johnny strikes again!

George Bush is out jogging one morning and notices Little Johnny on the corner with a box. Curious, he runs over to Little Johnny and says, "What's in the box, kid?"
Little Johnny says, "Kittens, they're brand new kittens."
George Bush laughs and says, "What kind of kittens are they?"
"Republicans," says Little Johnny.
"Oh that's cute," he says and he goes on his way.
A couple of days later, George Bush is running with his buddy Dick Cheney and he spies Little Johnny with his box just ahead. George Bush says to Dick, "You gotta check this out," and they both jog over to Little Johnny.
George Bush says, "Look in the box Dick, isn't that cute? Look at those little kittens. Hey, kid, tell my friend Dick what kind of kittens they are."
Little Johnny replies, "They're Democrats."
"Whoa!" George Bush says, "I came by here the other day and you said they were Republicans. What's up?"
"Well," Little Johnny explains, "their eyes are open now."

From the mouth of a child....

Little Johnny's kindergarten class was on a field trip to F.B.I. Headquarters where they saw pictures, tacked to a bulletin board, of the 10 most wanted men. One of the youngsters pointed to the picture on top and asked if it really was the photo of Osama Bin Laden
Yes," said the agent. "The bureau wants him very badly."
 So Little Johnny asked, "Why the f+++ didn't you keep him when you took his picture?"

A Confusing Lesson

A pastor was giving a lesson to a group of children on the 23rd Psalm. He noticed that one of the little boys seemed disquieted by the phrase "Surely, goodness and mercy will follow me all the days of my life..."
"What's wrong with that, Johnny?" the pastor asked.
"Well," answered Johnny, "I  understand about having goodness and mercy, for God is good. But I'm not sure I'd like Shirley following me around all the time."

Bathtub Anxieties

Little Johnny and a little girl in a bathtub having a bath. Suddenly the little girl looked down at Johnny.
"Can I touch it?"
 "No way -- you already broke yours off!"

That Damn Mortgage

For his birthday, Little Johnny asked for a 10-speed bicycle. His father said, “Son, we’d love to give you one, but the mortgage on this house is $80,000, and there is no way we can afford it. The next day his father saw Little Johnny heading out the door with a suitcase.
So, he asked, “Son where are you going?”
Little Johnny told him, “I was walking past your room last night and I heard you tell Mom you were pulling out. I heard her tell you to wait, because she was coming too. And I’ll be damn if I’m sticking around here by myself with an $80,000 mortgage and no means of transportation.