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Pee Pee

Little Johnnie's teacher is giving an English lesson; she asks the children to name a verb and then use it in a sentence.
Johnnie is the first to raise his hand, waving excitedly.
Knowing that Johnnie has a rather dirty mind, the teacher is hesitant to call on him, but decides to give him a chance.
"Alright, Johnnie, what is your word?" she asks.
"Urinate," is Johnnie's reply.
The teacher is regretting her decision now, but since 'urinate' is indeed a verb she forges ahead. "Thank you, Johnnie. Now can you use your verb in a sentence for me?"
Johnnie stands up and says "Urinate , and you'd be a 9 if you had bigger boobs!"

Good Manners

During a good manners and etiquette class, the teacher says to her students, "If you were courting a well educated young girl from a prominent family, and during a dinner for two you needed to go to the toilet, what would you say to her?"
Mike replies, "Wait a minute, I'm going to take a piss."
The teacher says, "That would be very rude and improper on your part."
Charlie replied, "Sorry, but I need to go to the toilet. I'll be back in a minute."
The teacher says, "That's much better but to mention the word 'toilet' during a meal, is unpleasant."
So Lil' Johnny says, "My dear, please excuse me for a moment. I have to go shake hands with a personal friend whom I hope to be able to introduce you to after dinner."
The teacher passed out.

"Little Johnny's Letter to Santa"

You must be surprised that I'm writing to you today, the 26th of December. Well, I would very much like to clear up certain things that have occurred since the beginning of the month, when, filled with illusion, I wrote you my letter.
I asked for a bicycle, an electric train set, a pair of roller blades, and a football uniform. I destroyed my brain studying the whole year. Not only was I the first in my class, but I had the best grades in the whole school.
I'm not going to lie to you, there was no one in my entire neighborhood that behaved better than me, with my parents, my brothers, my friends, and with my neighbors. I would go on errands, and even help the elderly cross the street. There was virtually nothing within reach that I would not do for humanity.
What balls do you have leaving me a F**King yo-yo, a stupid whistle and a pair of socks. What the F**K were you thinking, you fat son of a bitch, that you've taken me for a sucker the whole F**King year to come out with some SH*T like this under the tree.
As if you hadn't F**Ked me enough, you gave that little faggot across the street so many toys that he can't even walk into his house.
Please don't let me see you trying to fit your big fat ass down my chimney next year. I'll F**K you up. I'll throw rocks at those stupid reindeer and scare them away so you'll have to walk back to the F**King North Pole, just like what I have to do now since you didn't get me that F**King bike.
F**K YOU SANTA.
Next year you'll find out how bad I can be, you FAT-SON-OF-A-BITCH.
Sincerely,
Little Johnny