The Thunderstorm

One summer evening, during a violent thunderstorm, a mother was tucking her small boy into bed. She was about to turn off the light when he asked with a tremor in his voice, "Mommy, will you  sleep with me tonight?"
The mother smiled and gave him a reassuring hug. "I can't dear,"she said. "I have to sleep in daddy's room."
A long silence was broken at last by his shaking little voice,
"The big sissy."

Michael

Little Johnny goes up to his mother and asks, "Is God male or female?"
After thinking for a moment, his mother responds, "Well, honey, God is both male and female."
This confuses Little Johnny, so he asks, "Is God black or white?"
"Well, God is both black and white."
This further confuses him so he asks, "Is God gay or straight?"
At this the mother is getting concerned, but answers nonetheless, "Honey, God is both gay and straight."
At this Little Johnny’s face lights up with understanding and he triumphantly asks, "Mom, is God Michael Jackson?"

OUCH

Little Johnny has just been toilet trained and decides to use the big toilet like his daddy.
He pushes up the seat and balances his little penis on the rim. Just then the toilet seat slams down, and little Johnny lets out a scream.
His mother comes running to find Johnny hopping round the room clutching his genitals and howling. He looks up at her with his little tear stained face and sniffles, "K-k-k-k-kiss {sniff} it better."
Little Johnny's mother shouts, "Don't start your father's shit with me!"
Back to Top

Just a Drink Please

Six year-old Little Johnny walked into a saloon and said to the barmaid, "Give me a Scotch on the rocks."
 "You're just a kid," said the barmaid. "Do you want to get me in trouble?"
"Maybe in a couple of years," replied Little Johnny. "But in the meantime, I'd still like that Scotch."

Fire Truck

A fire fighter is working on the engine outside the station when he notices Li'l Johnny next door in a little red wagon with little ladders hung off the side.
The boy is wearing a fire fighter's helmet and has the wagon tied to a dog and a cat. The fire fighter says, "Hey, little partner, what are you doing?"
The little boy says, "I'm pretending to be a fireman and this is my fire truck."
The fire fighter walks over to take a closer look. "That sure is a nice fire truck," the fire fighter says with admiration
"Thanks mister," Li'l Johnny says.

The fire fighter looks a little closer and notices that Li'l Johnny has tied the wagon to the dog's collar and to the cat's testicles.
"Little partner," the firefighter says, "I don't want to tell you how to run your fire truck, but if you were to tie that rope around the cat's collar, I think you could go faster.
Johnny says, "You're probably right, mister, but then I wouldn't have a siren."