Jesse Jackson vs. Lil' Johnny

Jesse Jackson is speaking before a class of children and asks if anyone can give an example of a tragedy.
One little boy stands up and offers, "If my best friend, who lives on a farm, is playing in the field and a runaway tractor comes along and knocks him dead, that would be a tragedy."
"No," says the Great Jesse Jackson," that would be an accident."
A little girl raises her hand, "If a school bus carrying 50 children drove over a cliff, killing everyone inside, that would be a tragedy."
"I'm afraid not," explains the exalted spiritual leader. "That's what we would call a great loss." The room goes silent. No other children volunteer. The Reverend Jackson searches the room. "Isn't there someone here who can give me an example of a tragedy?"
Finally at the back of the room Little Johnny raises his hand. In a quiet voice he says, "If a jet carrying you was struck by a missile and blown to smithereens, that would be a tragedy."
"Fantastic!" exclaims Jackson, "That's right. And can you tell me why that would be tragedy?"
"Well," says Little Johnny, "because it certainly wouldn't be a great loss and it probably wouldn't be an accident either."

Answering Prayers

Johnny was kneeling by his bed and saying his prayers and asked God to make him a good boy. The boy's father, passing by the bedroom, overheard his son praying "And make me a good boy if You can. And if You can't, don't worry about it, 'cause I'm having fun the way I am."

Horse Traders

Little Johnny attended a horse auction with his father. He watched as his father moved from horse to horse, running his hands up and down the horse's legs, rump, and chest.
After a few minutes, Johnny asked, "Dad, why are you doing that?"

His father replied, "Because I'm buying horses. I have to make sure that they are healthy and in good shape before I buy."
Johnny looked worried, "Then I think we'd better hurry home right away."
"Why?" said his father.
"Because the UPS man stopped by yesterday. I think he wants to buy Mom."

It Had To Be Johnny

A six-year-old comes crying to his mother because his little sister pulled his hair. "Don't be angry," the mother says, "Your little sister doesn't realize that pulling hair hurts." A short while later, there's more crying, and the mother goes to investigate. This time the sister is bawling and her brother says, "Now she knows.

New Sister

When Mary was pregnant, her 5 year old, Johnny, was utterly amazed, and a little bit disbelieving, that his sister was growing in his mom's tummy. So one day when the baby was especially active, she asked Johnny to place his tiny hands on her tummy to feel the baby kick. But when he did, the baby was suddenly still.
"Oh, Johnny, she must have decided to take a nap," shrugged Mary.
"A nap?" Johnny  marveled. "You mean there's a bed in there too?"