Just Being Certain
A couple of redneck hunters are out in the woods when
one of them falls to the ground. He doesn't seem to be
breathing, his eyes are rolled back in his head.
The other guy whips out his cell phone and calls 911.
He gasps to the operator, "My friend is dead! What
can I do?"
The operator, in a calm soothing voice says, "Just
take it easy. I can help. First, lets make sure he's
dead."
....There is a silence, then a shot is heard.....
The hunter says, "OK, now what?"
Redneck Scientist
A redneck's trying to become a naturalist.
First, he decides to study the flea.
He takes a flea and puts it on a white piece of paper and yells:
"JUMP!"
The flea jumps, so the redneck cuts his legs off.
"JUMP!", he yells. But this time the flea
doesn't jump.
Pleased with himself, the redneck writes in his entry
book: "After having his legs cut off, the flea
became deaf."
 Sharp Shooters
Before his daring escape from prison, an infamous criminal had been
photographed from four different angles. The FBI sent copies of the pictures
to police chiefs all across the land, with orders to notify Washington the
moment an arrest was made.
The next day, the Bureau received a faxed
reply from the ambitious sheriff of a small Southern town:
"PICTURES
RECEIVED. ALL FOUR SHOT DEAD WHILE RESISTING ARREST."
Rental Car
A couple of Rednecks went on vacation in Colorado. They flew to
Denver and rented a car to sight see. One of the sights was a
bridge that was more than 1,000 feet above the river.
Walking out onto the bridge, they noticed it swaying in the
wind.
"I don't think I want to drive the car across this bridge," one
said to the other.
"What are you worried about?" the second replied. "It's a rental.
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