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The Looks of Your WifeAfter completing his examination, the doctor took her husband aside. "I don't like the looks of your wife at all.""Me neither, Doc." Said the husband. "But she's a good cook and the kids seem to like her." Confucius say: "Wife who put husband in doghouse soon find him in cathouse." "People are going on dates now to coffee bars. This is the worst idea. Four cappuccinos later, your date doesn't look any better." --Margot Black Interesting TechniqueWorried about their less than exciting sex life, a young wife sent her husband to a therapist who wound up treating him with self-hypnosis. And, to her joy, everything got much better.However, she could not help but notice that each night, early into their lovemaking, the husband would dash out to the bathroom for several minutes.  This tormented her until finally, one night, she followed him. There, in front of the mirror, she found him applying this therapeutic technique: "She's not my wife... She's not my wife...She's not my wife..." Back to Top In Sickness and in HealthA woman's husband had been slipping in and out of a coma for several months, yet she had stayed by his bedside every single day.One day, when he came to, he motioned for her to come nearer. As she sat by him, he whispered, eyes full of tears, "You know what? You have been with me through all the bad times. When I got fired, you were there to support me. When my business failed, you were there. When I got shot, you were by my side. When we lost the house, you stayed right here. When my health started failing, you were still by my side... You know what?" "What dear?," she gently asked, smiling as her heart began to fill with warmth. "I think you're bad luck. The RIGHT (R) and WRONG (W) things to say to a man after sex:R: You're the oneW: Next. R: You really know how to satisfy a woman. W: What the hell was that? Do you have to catch a plane? R: You're the best I've ever had. W: You're almost as good as my cousin Earl. R: What color are your eyes? W: Is my discharge still brown? R: You make me forget my problems. W: You make me forget I'm just 15. R: I think we should go away for the weekend. W: I think we should go to the clinic. R: I love you. W: I love you. |
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