Golf Jokes 2

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What do you call 300 white men chasing a black man? .............The PGA tour.

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The Wife

The other day I came home and was greeted by my wife dressed only in very sexy underwear and holding a couple of short velvet ropes.
"Tie me up," she purred, "and you can do anything you want."
So, I tied her up and went golfing.

On the phone with a golf buddy who has asked him to play, a guy says: "I am the master of my home and can play golf whenever I want. But hold on a minute while I find out if I want to."

''I just got a new set of golf clubs for my wife!''
''Great trade!''

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"Well, Ted, you're certainly coming up in the world. What's the idea of playing golf with not one, but two caddies!"
"Oh, it was my wife's idea."
"Your wife?"
"Yeah," answers Ted, "She thought I should spend more time with the kids."

After playing 18 holes of golf, our foursome was sitting around the clubhouse settling our bets when another golfer stormed in.
Fuming after a lousy round, he slammed down his scorecard and announced, "If I wasn't married, I'd give this stupid game up!"

10 Things In Golf That Sound Dirty

1. Look at the size of his putter.
2. Oh, dang, my shaft's all bent.

3. You really wacked the hell out of that sucker.
4. After 18 holes I can barely walk.
5. My hands are so sweaty I can't get a good grip.
6. Lift your head and spread your legs.
7. You have a nice stroke, but your follow through leaves a lot to be desired.
8. Just turn your back and drop it.
9. Hold up. I've got to wash my balls.
10. Damn, I missed the hole again.

Ballsy Gal

I was at the golf store comparing different kinds of golf balls. I was unhappy with the women's type I had been using.
After browsing for several minutes, I was approached by one of the good-looking gentlemen who works at the store. He asked if he could help me.
Without thinking, I looked at him and said, "I think I like playing with men's balls."

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