Perfect Husbands

Perfect Husbands

Needs Flash Plug-in to view banner linkNeeds Flash Plug-in to view banner link

Do you know the punishment for bigamy? ...................................................Two mothers-in-law.

The Perfect Husband

Add To Favorites
A friend of mine told me about this new Husband Shopping Center where a woman could go to choose from among many men for her husband. It was laid out in five floors, with the men increasing in positive attributes as you ascended up the floors. The only rule was once you opened the door to any floor, you must choose a man from that floor, and if you went up a floor, you couldn't go back down except to leave the place.
So, a couple of girlfriends go to the place to find a man as a prospective husband.
First floor, the door had a sign saying : "These men have jobs and love kids." The women read the sign and say

Waiting for the Perfect Man Sexes Backroomdesigns

"Well that's better than not having jobs, or not loving kids, but I wonder what's further up". So up they go.
Second floor says: "These men have high paying jobs, love kids, and are extremely good looking" Hmmm, say the girls. But, I wonder what's further up?
Third floor: "These men have high paying jobs, are extremely good looking, love kids and help with the housework." Wow! say the women. Very tempting, BUT, there's more further up! And up they go.
Fourth floor: "These men have high paying jobs, love kids, are extremely good looking, help with the housework, and have a strong romantic streak." Oh, mercy me. But just think! What must be awaiting us further on!
So up to the Fifth floor they go.
The sign on that door said: "This floor is just to prove that women are impossible to please."

Site search Web search

Back to Top

Groom to Be

During the wedding rehearsal, the groom approached the pastor with an unusual offer. "Look, I'll give you $100 if you'll change the wedding vows. When you get to me and the part where I'm to promise to 'love, honor and obey' and 'forsaking all others, be faithful to her forever,' I'd appreciate it if you'd just leave that part out."
He passed the minister a $100 bill and walked away satisfied.

It is now the day of the wedding, and the bride and groom have moved to that part of the ceremony where the vows are exchanged. When it comes time for the groom's vows, the pastor looks the young man in the eye and says: "Will you promise to prostrate yourself before her, obey her every command and wish, serve her breakfast in bed every morning of your life and swear eternally before God and your lovely wife that you will not ever even look at another woman, as long as you both shall live?"
The groom gulped and looked around, and said in a tiny voice, "Yes."
The groom leaned toward the pastor and hissed, "I thought we had a deal."
The pastor put the $100 bill into his hand and whispered back, "She made me a much better offer."

The day before his wedding, I stopped in to visit my uncle. It was his second marriage and I knew he really wanted to make it work.
"Are you nervous about the wedding?" I asked him.
"No way," he replied nonchalant. "Cup of cake. Cup of cake."

My Dad and I were talking the other night about love and marriage. He told me that he knew as early as their wedding what marriage to my Mom would be like.
It seems the minister asked my Mom, "Do you take this man to be your husband." And she said, "I do."
Then the minister asked my Dad, "Do you take this woman to be your wife," and my Mom said, "He does."

Once upon a time, a guy asked a girl: "Will you marry me?"
The girl said, "NO!"
And the guy lived happily ever after and went fishing, hunting and played golf a lot and drank beer and farted whenever he wanted.