West Virginia

West Virginia

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(Q) Why did OJ Simpson want to move to West Virginia?
(A) Everyone has the same DNA.

Water Hole

After a hardy West Virginia rainstorm filled all the potholes in the streets and alleys, a young mother watched her two little boys playing in the puddle through her kitchen window. The older of the two, a five year old lad, grabbed his sibling by the back of his head and shoved his face into the water hole.
As the boy recovered and stood laughing and dripping, the mother runs to the yard in a panic.
"Why on earth did you do that to your little brother?!" she says as she shook the older boy in anger.
"We were just playing 'church' mommy" he said.
"I was baptizing him in the name of the Father, the Son and in the hole-he-goes"

Q. How can we tell that the toothbrush was invented in West Virginia?
A. Had it been invented elsewhere, it would have been called a "teethbrush."

COLLEGE

A young West Virginian girl wanted to go to college at UVA.
But her father said 'No Way! You're going to By-God West Virginia Univ.'
Well she got her way and she went to UVA.
The first semester went by, and she wrote home that she was getting married to a man from Richmond, VA named Clarence.
Her father said 'I'll be damned if my daughter is marrying a man from Richmond. You're marrying a By-God West Virginian boy.'
So he sent his two sons to UVA to get their sister. In a couple of days they returned.
Dad said 'Where is your sister?'
They replied 'We were almost there Daddy, and we came up on this overpass that had this sign that read 'Clarence 13'6" so we turned around and got the hell out of there!'

On Credit

A small West Virginia Wild Animal Park had acquired a very rare species of gorilla. Within a few weeks, the female gorilla became very horny, and difficult to handle. Upon examination, the park veterinarian determined the problem: The gorilla was in heat. To make matters worse, there were no male gorillas of her species available.
While reflecting on their problem, the park administrators noticed Ed, a part-time redneck intern, responsible for cleaning the animals' cages. Ed, like most rednecks, had little sense, but possessed ample ability to satisfy a female of ANY species.

So, the park administrators thought they might have a solution. Ed was approached with a proposition. Would he be willing to have sex with the gorilla for $500?
Ed showed some interest, but said he would have to think the matter over carefully. The following day, Ed announced that he would accept their offer, but only under three conditions.
"First," he said, "I don't want to have to kiss the gorilla."
"Second, you must never tell anyone about this."
The park administration quickly agreed to these conditions, so they asked what was his third condition.
Ed stated, "You gotta give me another week to come up with the $500."